You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
