All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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