I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
