I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
