So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
