Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
A+ Viking dick
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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