So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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