Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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