my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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