I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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