I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish life had little blips of pornography
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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