look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
