google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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