Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize