I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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