Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
