winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
