I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
