This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
