I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I touched a dick in church today
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
