Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
