Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
