Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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