Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
