Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
