The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize