And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
