no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
