if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
