I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
