he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Pooping to opera.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
