And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
