I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
