I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
