I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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