his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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