Got a toothbrush?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
