Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
