so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
