Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
