you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
