it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
