Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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