I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
