Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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