yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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