Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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