I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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