Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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