Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Will exercising make me less horny?
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