Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
