and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
