Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
