In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
