I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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