did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
