Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
