i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We named our party play list daddy issues
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
