im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
