I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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