I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
