i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
