I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
