Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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