In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
