ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
