final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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