I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
