I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
